After Loss, Family Travel Helped Me Process My Grief

This year has been filled with loss for me and my family. I spent the last year coping with the passing of both my maternal grandparents and two great uncles. While death in old age still hurts, there is a small comfort in knowing they each lived a long, full life. 

At the beginning of the summer, my family experienced a tragic and unexpected loss when my aunt was taken from us. This shook my entire family and our community to our core. One of the most gut-wrenching moments of my life was helping tell this news to the children in our family. Watching them grieve steeled a resolve in me that my aunt’s legacy would not be defined by the tragedy of her death. 

The first way that I thought about honoring her life and legacy was by rescheduling our summer vacation to Los Cabos. But she loved to travel and experience new adventures around the world, so we went. As soon as we arrived at the Hilton Los Cabos Resort, I knew I had made the right decision. The serene atmosphere was the perfect place for us to have fun, connect, relax, and reflect.

Laidback Fun

The crystal blue waters of the Sea of Cortez provided dramatic views from our suite’s balcony and easygoing beach days. The Hilton offers private access to one of the few swimmable beaches in Los Cabos. When we were not swimming at the beach, we spent time at one of the resort’s multiple pools. We had a hard time getting my water babies (my Pisces and Cancer niece and nephew ) to leave the pools. They both loved going down the water slide and being able to order Shirley Temples from the swim-up bar. The family-sized cabanas with food and drink service were the perfect place for my dad and me to relax while keeping an eye on the kids. 

Connecting through Food

My aunt was not a cook, but she did enjoy eating, especially my dad’s food. I knew that our destination had to have amazing cuisine, and the Hilton Los Cabos definitely delivered. We experienced theme nights, like Taco Tuesday and Fiesta Night, that offered authentic Mexican food. There were also five-star restaurants that offered world-class food. During our trip, I watched our 13 and 7 year old both try new foods and enjoy them. I also noticed that I rarely saw my 13 year old’s phone, and my 7 year old didn’t ask for the iPad to make it through dinner. Instead, we interacted with the entertainment, talked to each other about our plans, and laughed about the highlights of the day. 

I was even more thrilled when I learned about the resort’s new offering of an immersive family cooking class with the resort’s chefs. We had a private lesson on how to make pasta with Executive Sous Chef, Julio Luna. I enjoyed watching my dad share his love of cooking with the kids. He was in his element making the perfect ravioli. Both of the kids tried pesto for the first time and absolutely loved it. We all continued to talk about the experience long after we left the resort.

New Adventures

We have so many photos of my aunt experiencing the wonder of traveling. From the pyramids in Egypt to posing with a Bengal tiger in China, she had so many adventures in her lifetime. I consider myself to be more cautious, but I see her adventurous spirit shining through my niece. On our last full day, we visited Wild Canyon Adventure Park and took full advantage of the park pass. We rode a UTV through the desert and over one of the longest hanging bridges I’ve ever seen. That was definitely an exercise in trusting my dad’s driving skills.

The kids convinced us to zipline, ride horses, and try our hand at tricks on the bike track. It was beautiful to see how fearless they were. It wasn’t until we encountered the camels that I saw some fear and hesitation in my niece’s eyes. After a talk about how brave my aunt was when she rode a camel in Egypt, she was determined to conquer her fear. I loved seeing her determination and pride after she finished the experience.

Reflection

In between all the fun and excitement, the Hilton also offered spaces for downtime. Our suite had two rooms connected by a living room and a balcony that overlooked the pools and the sea. I started most mornings sitting on the balcony, taking in the view while listening to the waves and quiet sounds of the workers preparing the resort for the day. I was able to take some alone time and enjoy a massage at the spa, and my dad got his solo time in by hitting the gym in the mornings. 

We try to impress upon our kids that quiet time is just as important as having fun, and I really saw them lean into that on this trip. My nephew declared the living room couch his domain and spent his quiet time watching movies and reading. My niece loved relaxing in the tent that the resort provided for her. 

On the morning we departed, I woke up early and walked down to the beach to see the sunrise. As I sat by the ocean, I reflected on my aunt’s life and legacy. Even though she was taken from us too soon, she made such an impact by the way she lived unapologetically and loved fiercely. I prayed that this trip was just the beginning of us upholding her legacy and passing it on to the next generation.